Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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