marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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