20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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