I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
