It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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