normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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