I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
