ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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