I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
