first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
