i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize