Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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