so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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