dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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