i just had sex bonerless
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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