I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
