After last night, I could never be a politician.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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