We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
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