why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
