youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
