Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
