Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
