This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
