Who wears a wallet chain?!
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
