it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
