She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
