I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
God, you're like boner-b-gone
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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