I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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