there's paper in my vomit.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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