actually, I'm a sock model
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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