I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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