Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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