your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
