i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
