In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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