Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
His hands were made for my vagina.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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