She's JV to your varsity
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
