Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
