butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize