From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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