On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
