i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
