are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
