He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
