Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
