Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Randomize
