Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
