And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
