he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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