It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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