You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
