so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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