We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
