I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
porn star boner night. come get it.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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