roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Randomize
