we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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