Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
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