i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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