were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Randomize
