I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
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