aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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