already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
His nipple licking is glorious
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
