By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
