problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
he was CRYING into my vagina
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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