So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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