Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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