this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
