matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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